RANT: Dear Developers, Y U No Make Pause Button?
We really, really need it. Seriously.
The most annoying thing about Mass Effect 3 – no, not the cover mechanics, or the ending (I have yet to reach it) – is that, there is no goddamn pause button during cutscenes.
I cannot count the number of times I have been disturbed during one. It’s as if nature is running an organization specifically designed to send ‘disruption agents’ precisely when a cutscene is totally telling me about something completely super-duper important.
It’s frustrating as hell.
Interestingly, I am never disturbed when something not-so-important is going on.
To give you an example of my plight, and I am going to make this as spoiler free as possible so you can actually read this (this is the second most annoying thing about Mass Effect 3, by the way. You can’t read sh*t on the Internet due to the dangerous spoiler-mines planted by assh**les) – about half-way through the game, like most of the game, you are required to save this particular individual and invariably his entire brotherhood. I did so as told, my Adept overwhelming stupid enemies that thought dodging a Warp blast was pretty clever. But slam!, Throw on their face.
Anyways, after saving that individual, the game, like always, resorted to play a cutscene to cool off that sweaty palm. And then, “one cheeseburger and coke, please!”, rang my iPhone, the disruption agents working in full force and in tandem to distract me from catching any of that plot I was so busy enjoying. “Hello?”, “now, please!”, “are you getting this message”, “cheeseburger – can you hear me”. This is a chat, goddamnit.
While I assuredly understand the noble cause of consuming a cheeseburger, there is a ‘galaxy at war’ that I must attend to. And as the Commander in charge of that monumental responsibility, is it right to disturb me while I push back enemy forces and troll Ashley for you-know-what during my free time? I mean, come on.
So yes, we need a pause button, developers. I don’t know how hard it is to plant a code that assigns spacebar to pause. But do it. Or do away with them ala Skyrim so our manner-less, non-gaming beings we call family and friends petty needs could be attended to without carrying the guilt to ever choosing to help them out.
I propose a petition. That’s ‘in’ isn’t it?